


Scream

by stickynoct



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Attempted Suicide, Gen, This could trigger you, hmm, idk what to tag anymore, kinda hidden depression, phycological stuff, tHIS IS SO SHORT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 00:38:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14532900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stickynoct/pseuds/stickynoct
Summary: I don't want you to blame me. I don't want you to hate me. But I will tell you this; you can speak but cannot touch. If you break these rules you will never see Nirvana. Now, go. Seek him. Protect him and guide him. Love him.





	Scream

**Author's Note:**

> I've been keeping these feelings for so long and I thought I don't ever want to be "too late" again so I wrote this. Fans, it's never too late to express your love for your idol. They need to hear it. Even from far away, scream. Tell them how much you love them.

You find yourself under the pouring rain in the dark, with only street lamps providing the little light they could. Even with the loud pitter patter of the rain you can hear a someone crying. So you look around in search of a person. To your left is a boy. He was wearing a thin layer of clothing and he was probably cold.

You reached out a hand but you remembered someone telling you that you mustn't come in contact with him. Instead, you just watched him and absorbed all the pain and sadness he was crying out. Not a few moments later he walked away from you. And you followed and tried to get a glimpse of his face. He seemed all so familiar to you but you didn't know who he was.

"Yuzuru. Yuzuru!" You said but he didn't seem to hear you. Maybe that isn't his name.

You ran to him. You screamed his name but he couldn't hear you. It was then you realized he was never going to notice you. There are more important things he should be worrying about. But still, you followed him. Ever since that night, you stood beside him. Where ever he was, you were there.

There wasn't a day where you left his side. It felt like you've fallen in love with him. From time to time, you'd see him at his best at other times he was at his worst like today.

Yuzuru was on the ice. He was practicing his jumps when he fell quite roughly. It was painful to look at. You were shocked when he suddenly hit the ice with his fist. It was bloody but he didn't seem to notice. Then he cried. He sobbed as he hit the ice with his bloody fist. Its when you also realize that you couldn't help. All you could do was watch and try to understand his pain.

Sometimes you hated yourself for just watching but there was nothing you could do. You were invisible to him. Although he can't hear you, you'd still tell him all the good things. All the things that would make him feel better. But your voice gets lost in the wind, unable to reach him.

Yuzuru screams, it was a mix of pain and relief. After that he stands up and treats himself. You sit beside him and watch, your heart sinking. He winces as he wraps his wounded hand with a bandage. Then he sighs. It takes a few minutes before Yuzuru picks up his duffel and leaves.

But Yuzuru doesn't go home. He wonders around the small town. You follow him around and begin to wonder what he was thinking. He sits on a bench at the local park for an hour then he goes to a library and reads. You really want to talk to him and you do.

"I know you won't hear me but I will always be by your side. No matter what I will always be cheering you on, I would hold your hands and tell you it's alright but I can't." You said ever so softly.

You were surprised when Yuzuru closed the book and looked around. For a moment, you thought he heard you but you were wrong. He stood up and left. So you followed. He was finally heading home but something was wrong. Yuzuru threw his duffel aside and went to his room.

He grabbed a chair and a rope. You knew what was going to happen next. So you ran to him, screaming at him to stop. But of course, it didn't work. Even in the dark you could see his eyes that once had a glimmer of light in them, but now it was pure emptyness. He stood on the chair and inserted his head into the loop. You were already crying so you held his hand and thought you could help him. You loved him and you were willing to sacrifice your own happiness for someone who never knew who you were.

Your touch did help him. Something touched his heart that day. It made him realize that he was worth more than he thinks. With a single touch, all your feelings for him were released. He finally felt the love you had for him. Yuzuru cried that night because his heart ached. It ached because he wasn't sure why he thought of ending his life when there was so much more ahead of him. In a years, he went on to win the gold medal and become one of the best figure skaters to ever glide on the ice,

As for you, nobody knows what had happened. Nobody knows wether you were punished for breaking the rules or spared for sacrificing yourself. Maybe Yuzuru fully noticed you and thanked you. Maybe you're reading this right now and wondering what I really intend to say.

**Author's Note:**

> For Jonghyun, I hope you're doing okay up there. We'll always remember you.


End file.
